dwayne: project world save

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Dwayne: Reviewer of CRAP

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Ha! Look! There are some CD's that do NOT appease me and my weapon. Here is a list of 10 worst albums ever released for means of destroying your sanity and corrupting your ears. Just to let everyone know, I've listened to all of them (either by force, or by horrible, horrible parties) so you know that this'll be the most biased, bitter list I can come up with. Stay away from these like they were 12 year old vampire children who hunger for flesh!

Albums, 10-6

10.

earthling David Bowie...I usually like listening to David Bowie. Have to have a little bit of classic glam rock playing once in a while, you know? But this album "Earthling?"...whooooo-ee! It just, well, I mean to say...I hate it! Wanna know why? It's completely forced, and it follows trends instead of setting them. I mean, come on, this is the guy who created about 14 different music genres in the span of 10+ years, but then this album is released and sounds like every other techno-rock CD...erg.

9.

Usually, farewell albums suck, and ha! that's the case here. It seems like Page is trying to implement as many weird styles as possible into "Coda," a (get this) 32 minute long album! Take for instance "Poor Tom," a song trying to mash together acoustic guitar and bashing drum beats...uh uh, doesn't work. Not Zeppelin's finest work. coda

8.

check your head Beastie Boys, "Check Your Head".....what the hell is up with all the bongos? I mean, I listen to this CD for three tracks and it's decent...but then track 4, "Gratitude" comes around and I start thinking "Hey, wait, my CD player is screwed up, this was already played!" But see....it WASN'T! It's just the overuse of organs and bongos that fooled poor demented me, bah!

7.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "Satan! Rarr! Kill me! Satan! *strum guitar heavily, beat drums*" Hey, Dwayne can be a Slayer coverband just like everyone else! One of the crappiest CD's I've heard come from people who sold their souls. Man, I don't premote selling your soul, but hell, you guys sure got ripped off. I'd suggest Christian rock, hell, even that crap is better than this....well, no, it's not....but, this still sucks. "Diabolus in Musica" (latin for "the Devil in Music") is damn straight, this sure as hell sounds like something they'd torture people with in, well, hell. diabolus in musica

6.

the chocolate starfish and the hot-dog flavored water I was looking at the title of this CD at a party, "The Chocolate Starfish and the Hot-Dog Flavored Water," geez, what a crappy title. Anyway, so I listen to the CD while playing counter-strike at a friends house and man, Fred Durst proves my point over and over again...he sucks! Take away Durst's wussy voice, keep Wes Borland's guitar and it'd be good...but the lyrics...ugh, half of them are ripped from old Guns 'n' Roses albums or Nine Inch Nails songs, how unoriginal can you get? At least they save themselves from a the number 1 spot with Wes Borland's bashing of how crappy the CD is. "Ooh, I put a 'Z' in my name! I'm bad!" "Chocolate water and...the...starfish...HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHA!" "I'm limpin' with the bizkit, no, seriously Fred, I'm limpin' with you. HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAH HAHAHA!"

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