Welcome to:

Phalanx's Birthday Wonderland!

brought to you by

vile and evil reno

It all started on a cold and dusty morning...a tiny baby, with his hand on a porno magazine flopped onto the ground and said bluntly, "I want computer." And so Phalanx came into the world.

All was not well in the world though, as the vile and evil influence known as "reno" also came into the world (along with maverick, but he never posts here, so he doesn't get a title until he does!), and chaos shortly ensued. Well, maybe not, but the three amigos sure did a lot of crazy shit.

Together, Reno, Phalanx (who used to be called everything from Drake, to Jackal), and Maverick traveresed the intertwined seas of women, mountain dew, mountain dew drinking women, games, and mountain dew drinking games. By some quantum physics equation, there are only rare occurances where all of them have girlfriends at the same time, so sometimes the occasional hot female accompanies the trio when they go into town to try and screw stores out of money (like when we went to shopko, found blade accidentaly marked at 9.99 and talked the manager into letting us have it).

the three amigos

Here we have the group of friends relaxing at one of their slumber parties. Notice how they have such cute hairdos and...oh, um nevermind. Eh hem, as you can see, even Maverick can make the internet crazy (and not just his bathroom!).

Maverick, Phalanx, and Reno always loved to have a good deathmatch every now and then, you know, to settle things in a not violent way.

"Hey penis! You started the server! You suck! Now you die!" Phalanx might scream to Maverick.

"Sub atomic nuclear powered handyman ignite!" Maverick would yell back, whipping a couple bullets or lasers in Phalanx's direction. (And because of lag, usually he had to guess where Phalanx or Reno would be in 4 minutes)

"The monkey planet cometh! Repent Sinners!" Reno would shout for no reason and then proceed to fall many stories to his death.

mu ha ha ha! As the good citizens of Neverland know, Phalanx works at a radio station, where he covers such hot topics as "Church Chat" and "Soccer games: TO THE DEATH!" Now, this job sometimes has it's downfalls, like working for very long amounts of time, so we caught Phalanx one night sleeping at work. HAHA!

Occasionaly, the random moron of the day will call up and complain to him that the radio signal comes over his TV line, so here is an actual transcript from a conversation to prove how much of a moron these people are...

Moron: Hello, mr. radio station man. I am calling because your signal comes over my playboy channel, and it's hard to *edited* when I hear church ladies yelling at me telling me what I'm doing is wrong.

Phalanx: Sure, let me just reaugment the whole law governing the power of radio signals to television signals. Matter of fact, why don't you just see if this helps? *bangs the receiver on the table 12 times, very hard* There, is it fixed?

Moron: No, that didn't help, but it did get my wife to take notice of me as I screamed in horrified pain. Please fix my television.

Phalanx: Sure, let me just come on over to your *edited* house of hot steamy porno *edited* and fix your *edited* television. Come to think of it, why don't you see if this helps? *plays 'marry had a little lamb' with telephone beeps* There, better?

Moron: I'm believing you aren't taking my *edited* dilemma seriously. If I can't *edited* then I may be stressed out today.

Phalanx: *click*

on to...

page 2: phalanx plays hard to get

All original content copyright 2000 Al
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